Matsuri Festival at Funan

Okay, I just feel like blogging today. Since you can see by my post title I went to the Matsuri Festival at Funan. I discovered it when I was online in Facebook, and believe me I rarely go on FB. By the time I saw it the event had started already. Its a week long event and I didn't think I'd have the time since I have commitments from Monday to Saturday, Sunday is my only free day.
here's link of the event page: http://www.animefestival.asia/fam/

I really didn't have much interest in going until I found out that Cosplayer Kaname was going. I freaking love his cosplays and he's a freaking LEGEND!!!!!! and for a guy his age he's really hot.

I asked Gelli to come with me so we went there on Sunday. I admit I used the butler cafe to lure her to come with me :P It was the last day so it was pretty crowded. I'm really bad when it comes to crowds and I have some anti-social tendencies like Gelli, but hers is worse, so we hung out at the butler cafe which they mixed with the maid cafe for that event. 

I became a panda for a day hehe

I really liked my eye make-up that day

We both got photos from playing jan-ken-pon with the maid and butlers. Reminded me of Alice Nine's own version of  the game which involves toy hammers and frying pans. We also got a photo with one of the butlers as a remembrance, which in this case was Ren.

accidentally closed my eyes for the photo, well at least Gelli looked normal

randomly put my necklace with the photos for no reason

I don't know why but Ren reminds me of my younger brother. They don't look alike but I guess its just a feeling I get. Maybe that's why I'm not that attracted to him and I don't get why other girls who've seen his photos find him good-looking, he's okay to me. I like small-eyes more. On a side note when I first met Ren during 2011 AFA I couldn't look him the eye because of his contacts. I'd been in Singapore for almost a year then and people in the Philippines don't really use colored contacts and I'd get scared of people wearing them. Because of a certain someone who wore red contacts to one of my past performances. That semi-phobia went away as I got used to seeing people in contacts.

I actually bought I small Rilakkuma charm to the cafe, I wanted to give it too the best butler or maid who served us that day as a reward but I'm not sure if it reached that butler... oh well...

Enough about the butler/maid cafe. I'll just post pics of Kaname-sama since there are no words needed to describe this legends hotness and awesomeness. 

Kaname bowing

Kaname unzipping his jacket

HOT!!!

sexy back

unzipping his jacket!!!

I think he was demonstrating some sort of exercise here

Gelli managed to get chosen to be one of the lucky fans who get to take photo with him

I'm Jelly of Gelli (failed pun)

but I'm still happy for her ^~^

LOL

I made her wear those cat-ears, they're actually mine

She has her own photo on her phone but she edited it and covered her face with a horse

but that's what makes Gelli kawaii ^~^

link to the photos I took that day there's also photos of cosplayer Natumi:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.404384489675846.1073741826.100003128959232&type=3

Thanks Gelli!

If your reading this thanks for putting up with me and going with me even though i can be childish at times. Last year was a really hard time for me but you didn't turn your back on me. If your reading this your probably puking this out of cheesiness right now. Lets enjoy our last AFA together, ne? 

Head gear! YEAH

This is just a photo blog its been more than a year since my last one, which was way before i cut my hair short. I felt like fooling around with all my hats, headbands and head accesories. Without further ado.

The first song/lyrics I'll share:

"Limited"

Right now as I stand
Restrictions try to bring me down
Chains that pull my wings
Trying to force me to the ground

Don't, youth that brings unneeded pampering
I'm no longer a child, despite what you believe
The key that I longed for
Now i finally realize that...

I never needed for you to give it to me
I have the courage to take it myself
The doors aren't locked
I just never tried to open them

No matter how many times I trip on the way
There is still the uncertain future
What will become of me?

Don't be afraid
The flowers can bloom
The seasons can remain unchanging
But all i know is get rid of that uncertainty

Face the foggy road head on
Towards the faint light that you see

The smile that shields my tears and sadness
Let go of it and run forward
Ignoring the pain of your battered feet
No more self-made chain forcing you to the ground

Because in that bright, blue sky
You can finally fly
Unlimited (x3)

-------------
Authors note:
I never really intended to release any of my lyrics on this blog but for this song "Limited" I made an acceptation. It already has a melody, unfortunately i don't own a guitar. The only thing i have now is a bass. I can use a xylophone to compose the accompaniment but my xylophone is in the Philippines and its to heavy to bring to Singapore.... T_T.... What is with me and heavy instruments. As soon as I can find a way to make the accompaniment i'll upload it to my youtube channel. I don't know if i'll be posting any more of my own songs here though. Exams are starting soon so that means i have to part with my composing for a while. So before that happens, heres one of my songs.

By for now
Que
P.S. follow me on twitter, kay?

I'm ________ when I'm with music

What do i feel when i'm surrounded with music? Music is the path i'm currently after and the idea of having to let that dream go is indescribably painful. Sometimes i feel, well not like a normal teen my age. I haven't really met anyone else who has a dream even similar to mine. Everyone else is planning for college, poly, university or any post high school institution, while I'm waiting for audition dates. Somehow i find myself stuck in the same place unable to move forward from being a face amongst the crowd.

At those times i re-think why i even had this dream. How old was i when i decided that i wanted to just sing for the rest of my life. When i was around 7-8 i started singing, not because i wanted to but because i was following orders. I wasn't allowed to play outside much because i had asthma back then. I would sneak out just to play, at the end of the day i'd have a nebulizer up my face (I hated that thing), and eventually i just stopped going outside. Maybe it was because of the asthma i was enrolled into singing lessons around that age. Singing helps strengthen the lungs. Unconsciously i just did what i was told.

I think it was when i was around 13 when i just turned into a teen. I'll always remember when i first had the though of "i want to sing on stage like that as well". I was at an older friends house then. She showed me a video, i don't want to name it yet, but i was so touched by the singing that i just wanted to do the same thing. Since then that dream slowly had a snowball effect growing more and more each day, and then i started chasing that dream as that feeling became stronger. The stronger that feeling became the more painful it was to chase, but its also became even more painful to let go.

Theres this comic strip i've read on webtoon its called "speak through colors". Its a compilation of 3 short stories of different struggling artists, who are confused on their choices for their future. Somehow i can relate to it, despite being in a different form of art. The characters ages and positions are close to mine as well. Unable to move or confused towards their dream, and being at the cross-roads of pursuing that dream or continue studying.

The second story is the one i can relate to the most right now. This artist loved drawing but started feeling lost like in the other stories. She was lost in a way that she still loved art yet she started losing confidence in her abilities to draw. She stopped going to her art academy after school and just focused on school and her friends. She almost stopped drawing completely until she discovered other forms of art which involved dying, sewing and other things. (Sorry for spoiling but still its a good read)

I guess thats where i am right now. Up until a few months ago i started feeling that my singing itself wasn't good enough. Somehow i found sanctuary in listening to different genres of music, the type i don't normally to. The type which didn't involve fancy singing techniques just pure raw emotion conveyed through lyrics and actions. It made me re-think what type of artist do i want to become?

Since i felt somehow defeated in singing i started doing other things related to music when i didn't feel so down anymore. I started writing again, but mostly when i feel inspired thats when i write. Slowly i got into the guitar (not my own though/ borrowed) to compose accompaniment for the lyrics. I really liked how the bass strings on the guitar started and recently i was able to buy my own bass guitar. Somehow I found myself moving on, and falling in love with music even more.

I love music more than anything else. I know it sounds cheesy, and words like 'love' can be easily used without even fully understanding what it truly means. But its a dream I'm willing to surrender everything I have just to be given the chance to pursue. I've told myself this as soon as I realized how much this dream meant to me. Its a dream with a never-ending, pathless road.

Through music I can show who I really am. For a person like me who has difficulty expressing myself in normal terms, music has become a sanctuary. Only through notes, melodies and lyrics is when I can show the feelings and emotions I can't normally express. Whether I be sad or happy through music I find myself not only showing these emotions but magnifying them as well. It scares me sometimes how vulnerable i become when I'm singing, especially when the song can carry all the feeling I have inside.

So know that i realize it I'm not sad when i'm with music, nor am i happy.

"I'M MY REAL-SELF WHEN I'M WITH MUSIC"

To the Circus

I miss all of you guys. Whenever I think about all you, I can't help but wish that we can all hang out together again. For some reason I think of our friendship as a circus. We have a ring master, an apprentice, the two opposites fire and ice, and our clowns. Although I know that things won't be the same again, since we've all grown up and changed. Some stayed, others are far away, like me, while some went to a place that you can never come back from. This letter is for all of you.

To our ring master
You're always so loud and cheerful. I don't know if I should consider you a Devil or an Angel. But despite you're loud remarks I know that you're too nice for your own good. You can be bossy but I never really mind. You wouldn't be our beloved ring master if you weren't that bossy. I wanna learn more from you since every time we seem to hang out you're always teaching me new things, maybe because you're the oldest. Sorry for using the younger card all the time on you. Hehe. Since I'm older now teach me more adult stuff. I know acting cute doesn't work on you but I can try right?

To our apprentice (my onee-chan)
Of all the talents that you had.... Why the heck did you choose to go to a military school!!! You better mature there, then again maybe not, I don't want my onee-chan to change. Unpredictable and free spirited thats how i'll always remember you. Hyper one minute, lazy the next always dancing to the beat of your own drum. I thought that military school will change you at least a bit but the only difference I can see is that you lost a lot of weight, and that you look like a guy now. I hate seeing you so thin eat more okay? Whenever I need someone to talk to your always the best option, I miss our talks. When you graduate you better get your fats back I need something to hug when I see you.

To Ice (yuki-chan)
Yah!!! Where the hell are you? I only hear stories about you know. Even as we grow up we're still the complete opposite of each other. Since when did yuki become girly, see we're always the complete opposite of each other. Go out sometime will you, i promise i won't try to tackle you every time we see each other. I just miss you yuki-chan....

To our clown on earth
Nothing is the same as before a lot of things changed. Even if insulting is my specialty you know I'm only joking right. Seriously what happened to you and Yuki you guys have become even more against leaving your house than me. Since when did you act so manly anyways. Keke but I still prefer your joker side.

To our clown up there
When I heard about what happened I couldn't stop crying. You're the one I miss the most maybe because I know that I'll never see you again. Life is fragile you made me realize that. I miss your jokes and your random dances especially when you dance to Single Ladies, I swear you dance better than anyone I've ever met. I kept bugging you to teach me but you never said anything about how bad I was. Your partner in jokes misses you, we all do. When I said goodbye to go to Singapore I had no idea that, that was the last time I'll see you. Nothings been the same since. I just hope that you're somewhere happy.


Now that i look back we never had a photo of all of us together. I wish we had the chance to take one. I may not have any photos but i have our memories. Unless I get amnesia or that disease that older people get that makes then forget stuff. I wont ever forget you guys. I miss all of you...
----
Yours truly
Camille

Youtube Channel

I decided to open up a YouTube channel. So far I have a few songs on it.

MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL 

  I plan to cover English, Japanese and some Korean songs on it for now. When I finally get the guitar fixed then I'll start uploading my personal compositions on it. I have a handful I haven't finished writing because of . Plus I've never shared those songs before.

The most I can do is to write my own lyrics to some of those Japanese or Korean songs. The first song I covered is Adam Lambert's "Aftermath". I already mentioned this song in my last post.

I also uploaded DBSK's "Toki Wo Tomete" or in English means "Time, Please Stop"

I mentioned writing English lyrics for Japanese and Korean songs. I just uploaded this song, an English version of IU's "The Story Only I Didn't Know"

The song that saved me

A few weeks ago I fell into a not-so-good state mentally. Just recently started returning to my old self. I ended up listening to heavy metal and rock songs. But there wasn't a song that managed to pull me out of that state. Until I found Adam Lambert's Aftermath, I really loved the meaning and I listen to it a lot even now. I FREAKING LOVE THIS SONG!!! so you should really listen to it 

there's also the acoustic version he sang at American Idol for a visit. This version holds more meaning.

Since listening to the song helped up on my feet again so I made a cover video. Hope you enjoy it. 

Signing off
Que Camille
and p.s. follow me on twitter

Misundestanding

How do I even start with this post???

Well if you look at my previous post I recently made a huge change by cutting of my hair but that was only a part of it. I'm rather complicated and I tend to keep things to myself. I'm posting this to clear up any misunderstanding I caused (or I think I did, I hope I didn't).

The Tail

If you saw my short hair I actually left a single strand of hair uncut. I normally tie it up when I go outside.

* keke you can see my peircing *

Its hard to explain when someone asks me why I decided to leave a single strand of hair uncut. The reason involves my dream to become a singer/musician. If you read my previous post you already know I cut my hair after that happened. 

Even though my dream is to be a singer, I have a deadline. By that I mean military school and I'm not joking. My dad graduated from the PMA and is still active in the military. So its a pretty obvious choice I go there after I finish high school, even my younger brother is planning to go there. Once I enter there's no turning back. They also have a certain age limit so until then I can pursue music and hopefully reach a point where I can forget about going to military school.

A pretty obvious cadet requirement there is short hair for both boys and girls. I will never understand why Andie Eigenmann had long hair in the drama "Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin" she was supposed to be cadet yet she had long hair throughout the drama at least wear a wig. Active female PMA'ers can only grow their hair out when they graduate. So why Andie? Why???? Now I'm getting off topic again.

As you can see I already cut my hair short. I left that one strand so that if I reach my deadline its gonna be easier for me to quit music and just go to military school. It's a promise I made to myself, if I ever cut this strand off. Then I'm completely turning my back on my dream. I only have around a year left. I guess I'm already preparing myself for it. 

I know not everyone will understand why, because I already know that not everyone can understand how much I love music and singing. Its something I want to do for the rest of my life. When I wrote "All that's left is a small strand of hope that I don't know if I should hang onto" in my last post this is what I meant.

Vegetarian

Ever since July I've stopped eating meat. I don't really have a solid reason to why I just decided to stop eating meat. To make it simple I was sleeping and I had a weird dream, since then I never want to eat meat ever again. I'll spare the details but it involved the apocalypse along with cows & birds turning carnivorous. I don't dream often but every time I do its always something that oddly scars me for live. Like when I had a dream of mermaids attacking me, since then I had trouble looking at fishes, especially dead ones. I think they're gonna back from the dead and infest in a human body slowly turning it into a half-human half-fish monster. 

 

*rawr*

I don't see any problem with my decision since it doesn't really effect anyone negatively. I don't go around (and I never will) telling people to stop eating meat. I'm not a complete health nut. I like to eat pringles and chips but not all the time though. I've never gone to a person and tried to change their eating habits. Everyone is responsible for their own body. I don't care if you smoke or what vices you have as long as you don't try to force me, as in forcefully make me do the same things.

As much as I admire SNSD's Seohyun, she's one of my role models. But I won't go around saying "You'll die if you eat that" or "bad diet accumulates and eventually you'll die".                                                                                      Don't worry Seohyun I still admire you, but I'd freak if anyone said that to me. (V)

Honestly I tried keeping the vegetarian thing under wraps aside from a few people. But the hell with out, people are finding out anyways. I don't mind if you eat meat in front of me, just don't shove it to me face or else you're gonna get wacked.

 Sorry

This is something I'm sorry about. I'm the type of person who would rather be alone and not talk a lot when I have problems. I was recently not my normal self for a few weeks and I would purposely avoid people I know. Sometimes at bus stops or at school. If that ever caused a misunderstanding then I'm really sorry. I don't like involving other people who should not be involved in my own problems. So I kept everything to myself. I walked around a lot trying to find the answers. But I still don't know the answers myself.

 Signing off

Camille